Draft & line edits
Editing: 8 Weeks of Revision
Draft 1, marked up (continued)
8 Baking also lets me learn about other cultures. In every mixing bowl lies a ticket to faraway lands. Seizing this opportunity, a friend and I chart a voyage around the globe. My friend showed me We first travel two thousand miles to Mexico where he shows me how to make polvorones, a Mexican traditional cookie served during weddings and holidays. Then I taught him Feeling inspired, I fly us across the Atlantic Ocean to Israel. There, I teach him how to braid babka, which connects me to my Jewish heritage. forming beautiful, overlapping connections between lengths of dough and between my Jewish heritage and me. When ready to return home, we simply leave the kitchen.
9 I bring the lemon squares to my old track coach. I knock on the classroom door, my smile mirroring the one made of jam on the lemony surprise I hold in my hands. He is happy and invites me in. My former track coach invites me in, grabbing a couple of chairs and happily accepting his birthday gift. We talk about the past and our future plans, and it is nice to catch up. Even sweeter than the lemon squares is the opportunity they provide; together, we reminisce about the past and discuss future plans, catching up after all this time.
10 In conclusion, baking is important to me because it brings people together. The secret ingredient in each baked good I make is connection.
One sentence, five versions
The last line took four rounds to find| Draft 1 | In conclusion, baking is important to me because it brings people together. |
|---|---|
| Draft 2 | Baking has taught me that food has the power to bring people together. |
| Draft 3 | For me, the best part of baking is the people I share it with. |
| Draft 4 | Every batch I bake is really about the people who eat it. |
| Final | The secret ingredient in each baked good I make is connection. |