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← Behind the Essay 02 · Editing 2 / 6

Draft & line edits

Editing: 8 Weeks of Revision

Draft 1 → Final
Paragraphs 1–4

48Line edits
18Comments & replies
812 → 650Word count
8 weeksStart to finish

Eight weeks, five drafts

Every round answered a different question
  1. Week 1 Brainstorm Three sessions to find the story
  2. Week 2 Draft 1 812 words, mostly summary
  3. Week 3 Draft 2 Rebuilt around the coach scene
  4. Week 5 Draft 3 Persona, voice and humor
  5. Week 6 Draft 4 Line-by-line tightening
  6. Week 8 Final 650 words, every line earned

Draft 1, marked up

deleted inserted 1 comment thread

1 A loud voice yells An authoritative voice bellows my name in the crowded school cafeteria: “MATZ!” My freshman year track coach walks towards me, and everyone around us gets quiet as he gets closer. advances towards me, each stride squashing surrounding chatter and closing the distance between us. I know exactly what awaits me.

2 “Remember,” he says, looking right at me standing in front of me with eyes fixed on mine, “the lemon squares.” He smiles and adds, He adds with a grin, “And could you put a smiley face on top?”

3 It’s his birthday, so I want it to be special. I Wanting his birthday treat to be memorable, I make a note to buy pick up raspberry jam to draw it. for drawing the image.

4 Many teachers and students call me “The Baker.” I am known as “The Baker” by countless teachers and peers. In Throughout high school, I have baked a lot of things for a lot of people. shared hundreds of my homemade delights for special days and ordinary days, individuals and groups, and friends and strangers. I am really passionate about baking because it helps me connect with Baking is incredibly meaningful to me as a way to strengthen my relationships with myself, other people, and different cultures. others, and cultures around the world.